Often it causes anxious thought--
Do I love the Lord or no?
Am I His or am I not?
If I love, why am I thus?
Why this dull and lifeless frame?
Hardly, sure, can they be worse,
Who have never heard His name!
Could my heart so hard remain,
Prayer a task and burden prove,
Every trifle give me pain,
If I knew a Savior's love?
When I turn my eyes within,
All is dark, and vain, and wild;
Filled with unbelief and sin,
Can I deem myself a child?
If I pray, or hear, or read,
Sin is mixed with all I do!
You who love the Lord indeed,
Tell me--Is it thus with you?
Yet I mourn my stubborn will,
Find my sin a grief and thrall;
Would I grieve for what I feel,
If I did not love at all?
Could I joy His saints to meet,
Choose the ways I once abhorred,
Find, at times, the promise sweet,
If I did not love the Lord?
Lord, decide the doubtful case!
You, who are Your people's sun,
Shine upon Your work of grace,
If it is indeed begun.
Let me love You more and more,
If I love at all, I pray;
If I have not loved before,
Help me to begin today!
- John Newton